Arby's. Tears. and a moment of Peace in my Grief.

I would like to think that if Shannon was alive today,
we would be doing this in front of our kids and making them laugh.

Today I went through the Arby's drive thru.
You might think it's weird...
but it makes me think of Shannon.
I've only gone a few times since she was killed.
It's been almost two and a half years..but I still have the hardest time typing out "killed."
A part of me finds it easier to write lost or taken. But the truth is.. she was killed...
 by an act of Domestic Violence. And sadly, it is the reality of our world, that so many face this.
Almost every time I turn on the news there is a story covering domestic violence.
They might not use those words...
but thattt is the situation they are describing!

As I drove towards ben's work to treat him with a surprise lunch delivery...
the smell of the curly fries made me flash back to high school days in atlanta...
When we would go to XLT (praise and worship night) at a local Catholic High School.
They would have music, a talk and adoration. It was a weekly thing we all went to.
We would all hang out there for a bit then get in our cars to head to brusters across the street.
It was usually a big group of us. Toni or shannon would usually end up getting a piggy back ride from someone. I remember cramming onto this one bench and the boys would be goofing off making us laugh.
Their was an arby's next to the
ice cream place..and sometimes we would leave the group and run over for the
curly fries and milk shakes.

The smell made me remember.
Shannon's curly hair and her pea coat. our matching american eagle jeans!
The scarves she made all of us girls one year,
How we sang in the cars dashboard confessional!
Being silly and just..joyful.

My heart sunk.
It was too close. It felt too familiar.
A second later I felt overwhelmed and partially
regretting the decision to get curly fries...
And I cried.
A song came on k love.

"Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death.
Come awake! Come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave!

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake! Come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave."
-Matt Maher, Christ is Risen

All I know is that after I heard that song...
I felt peace in my heart that God has already won
 He has conquered death.
We can be together with Him again.
I wiped my tears and had a moment where I felt
like my heart had been heard.

So... next time you're thinking arby's,
think that. ;) God has already won.

Peace for all of you missing someone.
SPEAK OUT AND GET HELP! or HELP someone else.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE

To read all posts related to Shannon you can click here.
Please share her story..donate if you can.
If you have been touched by her story and would like to 
visit her Memorial Page you can visit here

Please Pray for peace in our world 
and for all those affected by Domestic Violence.


  1. Natalie, this was so beautifully written. My heart is going out to you right now. Praying you continue to find strength in the truth of those words... love that song!

  2. Praying for you friend. Thank you for sharing your story so openly here on your blog.

  3. Praying for you. I can't imagine losing a best friend so tragically.

  4. this is so heart felt.... I could not imagine losing such a close friend like that. Remember god never gives us more pain than the heart can handle. be strong and keep driving thru that arbys, cherish those memories with her and stay strong.
    god bless. <3

  5. Thank you for always being very open and honest about your emotions. You are so brave! Thank you for sharing your story with all of us! I'm praying for you:)!


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