It seemed fitting that our first outing…
as a family on our own with the hospital days behind us…
would be to target.
I think I even changed out of yoga pants and put jeans on….
it was a big day. ;)
I love our family selfie we took in the cheese stick aisle. haha.
A lot of days I still feel like I am just out of the hospital in my head.
Like I put makeup on and get dressed but still feel like I’m in a hospital gown.
I’m sure that makes no sense..but it must be how a part of me is working on realizing I’m OK.
I have this fear that I won’t get my full personality back…
that this weakness I feel while I’m recovering is going to keep me slow and timid and…sad.
I was legitimately mad at my instagram feed earlier this week.
because it just felt sad. Seeing all the photos from the hospital…
I just wanted to make it happy. and we have been busy making lost of fun
happy memories to push back the sad ones from this past month!
The other morning I came downstairs and sophia goes
“MOM!!! you’re so…so… FUlll…..” and then she didn’t say anything else, her hands
were just up in the air and she couldn’t think of the words to say.
but I could tell she was trying to explain how I looked…
Another day she saw me and exclaimed,
“mom!! you’re more normal today!!… do we still need to be gentle?” haha…
I’m getting stronger every day and my kids are
noticing these differences in me even when I’m not able to myself.
I’m trying to get out of head and be patient with myself as I get back to normal!
I might not be able to pick up my kids or do much of anything at all,
BUT I have been able to save up some energy and make a meal some nights.
It’s something I can do (unless heavy lifting is required then I ask for help)
and I’m DESPERATELY wanting to be able to contribute something around here!
The other night I made up a batch of my favorite pizza dough
The kids loved putting their toppings on their own mini pizzas.
They turned out delicious and pretty as always!
It made me feel so happy to feed
them something homemade and yummy.
I was sore as heck by the end… but it was worth it!
Baby Giggles make everything better.
Love my Ben and his mini-me, Micah.