Motherhood is hard. there are long sweaty kid chasing and changing days where you feel like you don’t have it in you to be the mom you need to be. You think all you do is feed kids.. referee the battle over the pink ikea spoon, clean up the squeezed juice box messes that you swear you won’t ever give micah again… do dishes..play.. referee the fighting over the pink mermaid. intercept crayon from micah. repeat.
Through these years of having babies I’ve shared my heart through my blog… and so often I have experienced this amazing community of mamas out there through it. The days I feel so discouraged…I’ll share on social media my heart….and I’m quickly encouraged to know that I’m not the only one.. that there are other mamas out there that are having the same struggles but trying to be the best mom they can be!
All these years have gone by being shared on my blog….
and some days are HARD and I want to cry.
But I’m very proud of these years, because I can say..we lived that.
we did it. And those were awesome times.
plenty of hard moments but way more awesome ones. I seriously thought my heart was going to burst today when we took Sophia to first grade. The years have flown by! I’m so thankful for these sweeties… and even when it’s hard.. it is so worth it.
Motherhood is intense and exhausting and amazing all rolled into one.
You can have days you feel defeated in the store, ready to sit on the floor and cry (I might have done this. A lady then told me I had red string stuck to my bum. awesome.) You can feel like every mom with one child is thinking “she is crazy to have that many kids” or an older mom is thinking “she has no idea what she is doing.” But just hang in there mamas if you are in the thick of it. If you are feeling the pressure. I feel ya!
Try to focus on the funny and the fun. the silly and the sweet.
Here’s some of our recent funnies:
Sienna: “Mom if I tell you I want to marry a boy you can’t tell anyone.”
Sophia: “You don’t try and figure it out you just fall in love.”
Sienna: “I’m gonna marry all the boys.”
Sophia: “You can’t marry more than one boy.”
Sienna: “I’m still gonna marry al the boys.”
Sienna has been singing the bob the builder theme song to the tune of ‘let it go.’
I have officially heard it all.
Something I say more than I think I should: “If you aren’t gushing blood no bandaid!”
yesss! pain and joy all at the same time! pull out those dora bandaids and celebrate!
sophia: “awww I wish I fell.”
Sienna told me if a boy was rescuing her she would kiss him.
I replied with no you can’t kiss a boy unless he’s your husband.
Sophia replies with the fact that daddy says you can kiss a boy only if he says so.
Every single knock knock joke sienna says somehow includes the words poopy.
Micah’s new thing is sometimes, when random strangers say HIIIIIii.. he responds with…
“no. ::shakes head::.”
hahaha.. shut downnnnnn.
He also responds to almost every question with yes.
He knows the theme song to Handy Manny and Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
And the “yet it gooo” part of let it go. he’s got that part down.
Write down the FUN moments you have with your kids, pull out your phone and put their cute comments in your notes app!..Video them playing, even if it’s just one day a week you make a mental note to do it! I’m so glad that I have these memories over the years. I realized that I had been slowing down with video taping micah…so we are making an effort to regularly capture some silly moments. Especially the breakdancing moves he is now rocking.
I love doing motherhood with all of you ladies. Thank you for being a part of my blog.
It still makes me gush and smile when I get e-mails from you guys telling me you’re pregnant..or that you have tried and loved the crock pot recipes..or that you threw a play date or party with an idea from my blog.. or made a cardboard house/castle like ours. Most of the e-mails start with “this might be weird, but I feel like I know you and we would totally be friends,….” But let me tell you..it’s not weird at all to me!
I love it. and am so encouraged by all of you!
If you have 15 minutes to spare, here’s a video I put together of some favorite memories
of my Motherhood so far. It feels like just yesterday ben and
I said I do and 12 months later had Sophia!
The other day we were walking out of the parking garage into the mall…. and sophia said, this is just like the hospital!! Sophia had a thing for the hospital parking garage…
I had shared on IG: “My mom told me today that yesterday as she drove the kids out of the hospital parking garage they reached the top and Sophia from the backseat goes “it’s so beautiful!!!!” My mom asked what was? “The sky!!!! It’s so beautiful!!” my mom laughed and agreed and thought from her view seeing the sunset it must have been the perfect shot going from dark to light. Sophia then said “I want to have my birthday here!!!!!” I seriously love her and her view of the world.”
It’s random comments like this one about the hospital parking garage that I realize they remember that crazy time still so much. My 2 week stay at 3 different hospitals, the fear of the unknown, countless tests, a couple minor operations and a surgery… left a major impression on my family.
It still brings me fear some days… fear that a future scan will bring bad news. That the pain in my abdomen will come on again. It is still etched in my mind my kids’ sweet little scared faces when they walked into the hospital room where I was laying..tube in my nose, tube in my side and iv in my neck and hand. I looked sore, tired and weary. Ah it makes me want to cry just thinking about it. those two weeks being away from my family were so hard and part of it was knowing how my kids were missing me and trying to understand the chaos that swept over our family. Sophia told me yesterday, “Mom, I cried for you every day when you were at the hospital.” I know kids are resilient… and they were sheltered from a lot of the scary stuff during that time. But they still picked up a lot. I came across a video from the hospital the other day while on my computer, it was the one of ben and I smiling because I was going home that day! Sienna walked over and watched it…and then when it was over she said, “mom I had tears in my eyes watching that.” I hugged and squeezed on her. And we thanked God that we were all better and all together.
It was a time of such horrible pain, fear of not knowing what was going on with me and fear that one of the tests were going to come back and be bad news. I would like to say I was positive through it all. But I wasn’t. I remember moments during the episodes I was screaming and writhing in pain in my abdomen, just thinking it was not going to end. And just trying to look so hard at my husband and mom that were with me.. like I just wanted to soak all of them up. I really was thinking the doctors were going to come back and say it was something not fixable. It was during those days that I fully experienced the power of prayer… That day I needed to be able to sit still for a test..there was just no way I could do it. My mom even had talked to my husband in the hall about how it just didn’t seem possible. Because.. it didn’t. The moment the pain subsided, was the time people from all over were praying. I even had a girl on IG share her entire church prayed during that time for me and my family. It was incredible. The pain came back later that night with a vengeance, the worst yet, but it held off long enough so I could lay still. I even fell asleep which was something new. This was the test that found the 4 cm precancerous cyst on my pancreas and pretty much saved my life. If they missed that…. who knows when it would have been revealed, if ever, until it was too late. They kept telling me pancreas cancer is a silent killer and usually not detected till it’s progressed too far.
They did the surgery to remove my gal bladder, spleen and 20-30 % of my pancreas.
“@blesnefsky here again. Everything went great. We’re back in her room now. She’s in a good amount of pain but doing ok she’s peaceful and resting. She has 6 incisions a drain on the side of her abdomin to drain excess fluid from surgery and a tube in her nose to drain the stomach. During surgery they think they may have found a cause to the left side pain as the cyst was pushing against the spleen and her veins to spleen were really enlarged. The said the cyst would have also ended up giving her liver problems down the line. Gall bladder definitely had to come out and will relieve right side pain. Cyst is off to pathology and we should know the results of that wed to Friday. God is good prayers for recovery”
One thing that I have discovered after experiencing this type of cross in our family… is how my kids are so much more aware of suffering and have this very clear empathy for those they hear are suffering. It opened their eyes to how, sometimes, you experience sad things… and are sad. and it is nice when people love on you and pray for you. I’ve seen it come up in conversations when I tell them someone we know had to go to the hospital or is sad… They have such concern and sympathy and this desire to take action.
We all experience different crosses in our life. And once we get through them, we often look to what we can learn from that experience or take away from it……sometimes it’s hard to see ANYTHING good can coming from that suffering… But I can say that my kids took away a bigger heart. I’ve seen it first hand. And though that fear is there… I think that their empathy for others greatly outshines it.
I hope that I can pass on to them what my mom passed on to me.
Never waste a single tear. always offer it up for someone or something.
You can read my first Hospital Reflections and IG shares during those two weeks HERE.
I’m so thankful for where we are today… and soaking up
these summer days with my sweeties!
You can’t fall asleep with a cute baby on your
chest around here without it being documented. haha.
From these pictures you would think that ben sleeps all the time…
he is just really good at falling asleep within minutes
and the kids can’t resist a comfy dad to sit on.
It’s a new hashtag on my instagram feed…haha. #sleepingbenseries
I know I’m not the only mama who has a million photos of her hubby like this!
I think I have ONE of me sleeping with a kid on me.
Although, after this post, I might be seeing some unflattering
sleeping photos of me on my husband’s instagram feed…
He might take this as a challenge. uh oh. haha.
I can’t handle the cuteness in these photos though.. I love them.
The most recent sneak attack photo…
and one of my very very favorites… :)
Hope all of you are having a great week so far!
If you haven’t been on my INSTAGRAM lately… be sure to check
out the fun giveaway I have going on with some lovely ladies!
I rounded up some amazing goodies for you to win!
I met Kristin via instagram..when we connected and she ended up coming over to help pack up HAPPY MOMMY BOXES in my living room. She was awesome. She is one of the two girls behind GO SHOUT LOVE. You can read more about their story on their about page.. but the goal of GO SHOUT LOVE is to create an easy and accessible way for people to help families who are walking through hard times.
It all started when they helped Nella(who was diagnosed with SMA type 1) via their personal blogs and instagrams…and had such a great response! Now they have a website where they regularly have featured families they are helping.
I couldn’t agree more with them that people should be rising up and raising their voices for these children..helping raise money for their hospital bills and help bring awareness to their cause! These sweet little ones voices can be heard through us!
GO SHOUT LOVE does a dance challenge across social media..where you can post your video dancing for whoever they are sharing at the time.. Right now the featured family is David, Katie and their daughter Paisley and their hashtag is #idanceforpaisley. More info on their story is here.
But people can post videos on social media..or challenge people to post videos and donate if they do it. So when I was challenged by nella’s mama..oh man. it was on! ;)
We posted PART ONE and PART TWO on Instagram
but you can see the full version below.
It made my day that paisley’s grandma commented on the video loving it.. a long with paisley’s mom. I hope that it brought a smile to their face during some days that can be long and hard. I hoe that they feel the love and joy from those posting who are gathering together to lift them up and spread their story.
I seriously am just loving what Kristin and GO SHOUT LOVE are doing
and super proud of them. Go check them out and if you do a dance video..tag me!!!
During Micah’s nap time I asked the girls if they wanted to dance in the shower.
Sienna did it once but was more interested in the bandaids and mommy’s makeup in the bathroom. Sophia…oh man she was all about it. She cracked up and begged to do it like 5 times. it was so sweet and It made my heart happy seeing how she wanted to make others happy by putting this up! We are total goofballs.