I want to make it all. everything. I want to make the DIY rustic industrial coffee table. I want to make the felt play food sushi and tea bags. I want to make the gift wrapping station.
I want to throw a playdate with all my friends and their kids and have creative/themed snacks and activities. I want to actually get through my laundry pile.
I want to make all of the meals I’ve pinned on pinterest.
It’s not happening. None of it. And I’m learning to be ok with it.
Having 3 kids…. and coming up on having baby #4 in october. I’ve gone through many different seasons of life. All of them with their own challenges and smooth sailing.
Some seasons harder than others. Some seasons including more break down crying moments than others. (all included them… just some had more than others.)
Reality, really stinks some times. especially when you don’t agree with how much time you REALLY have in a day. or how much energy you REALLY have. I remember after having my second baby.. I was like wait….I’m feeling like I want to do all these things…and I physically can’t make it happen….And I had to have a cry sesh on the phone with my mom and get a reality check. You can’t do it all… and that’s ok. It doesn’t mean you never will be able to do that dream or that DIY IKEA hack….lol… just today… we are choosing something else.
I’m in the season of I have a husband, raise 3 kids under the age of 6, run a business and blog and grow a human. Some of those things are ever changing..some aren’t.
I’ll always be a wife and mama…but the demands of the kids and work are ever changing.
Right now..I feel miserable. morning sickness this round is the worst yet.
I mean horrible. horrible. praying trying to get through it horrible.
I’m so grateful for this baby and I know this season won’t last forever.
But please forgive me if you see me and I look like death. because we are seriously coasting through at this point haha. Micah brushed my hair with a plastic fork for a good 15 minutes today. The thought of how bad an idea that was didn’t even cross my mind. I wasn’t moving. he was somewhat still. we went with it. luckily no one was stabbed and my hair looked phenomenal afterwards.
Ben has swooped in many meal times to save the day. Otherwise the kids would be eating pbj’s and cheese puffs for the entire first trimester.
I’m learning to be ok with the season of life I’m in.
That I won’t feel sick forever. and our kids won’t be these ages forever.
That I can make all the things and do all the things…I just need to be realistic, patience with myself, and at peace.
Because the problem with a restless heart…is you aren’t at peace with where you are at and you can’t be truly present if you are always wishing and longing for other things. In those moments, I’m not living in the present and seeing the amazing things going on around me. I’m blocking out the good and only seeing the GAHH I’m gonna lose my mind parts.
I heard a very smart quote the other day. and I think it was a quote of a quote…but
It was something like, we sometimes think the grass is always greener over there…
but in reality..
the grass is green where you water it.
So I’m gonna water my grass. I’m gonna throw up and feel exhausted and do laundry when I can and let the laundry go when I can’t and love on my kids and choose them over work and work when I can and set goals and be realistic with myself and my time and energy. I’m going to be at peace knowing this is where I’m at right now… make goals but be present.
I’m gonna make that eggless cookie dough and eat it while binge watching netflix with my husband. or go to bed with the kids at 7:30 because
I’ve been counting down till bedtime since 9am.
I’m going to work my butt off when they nap and I’m not sick. I’m going to work with purpose and put all of me in it not just to make something from it but to build something amazing and make an impact on a community.
I’m going to blog my heart and not worry about pins.
I’m going to NOT blog some days and be ok with it.
I’m going to be ok with where I’m at and not worry about everything I’m not able to do.
I’m going to love my family, and it will be a flawed love, but an example to them of trying to be patient and kind and asking for forgiveness and starting over the next day.
I encourage all of you mamas… don’t compare.. and don’t be frustrated.
Some seasons of life are hard. But each season is beautiful and good.
Water your grass and be at peace. dream and pin away but you are good and amazing even without the perfectly organized pantry. although if you have free time
and want to organize mine, I’m game.
I’m excited to be teaming up with Simply Juice Drinks for a fun giveaway!
Their e-mail couldn’t have come at a better time. 8 weeks pregnant and their new juice drink line is exactly what I’m craving! We always have their orange juice in our fridge, but I took a look at the new drinks they offer and they looked so yummy! I grabbed up the Simply Mixed Berry and it’s delicious! Simply Juice Drinks is giving away a fun prize pack including
a $50 gift card to one of you! More details on how to enter below!
The juice drinks are made with simple, all-natural ingredients including real fruit juice!
There are no added preservatives, colors or artificial flavors.
The launch of their new Juice Drink line includes three flavors:
Simply Fruit Punch, Simply Tropical + Simply Mixed Berry.
The winner will receive
+5 Simply Juice Drink Coupons
+1 Glass Juice Carafe
+1 Set of Essential Highball Glassware
+$50 Amex Gift Card
Give me all the fruit!
Especially oranges! That is my current pregnancy craving.
I love sweet and juicy…but also salty! (fried chicken, fried cheese and popcorn.)
Does anyone ever crave pickles and ice cream??? I have never heard of that except in books and movies. I like pickles..but with ice cream? no thanks. ;)
I have been wanting juice drinks and water all day long. I was drinking orange juice before, but now I’m stuck on the Simply Mixed Berry! so fresh and yummy!
ps. I might have had 3 oranges today. That’s all that sounded good!
Looking at these pictures make me want another one! ;)
With this being pregnancy #4, I’ve learned to give myself grace. That it’s ok to eat the burgers and pizza and not feel horrible about it. Staying active and loading up on the good stuff too is important! The first trimester is rough to begin with…exhaustion and nausea.
So when something sounds good eat it! You’ll have time in the months ahead
to be a little more conscious of your meals! I’m thankful my cravings
are part junk part healthy food right now!
This baby loves the fruit!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
You can learn more about Simply Juice Drinks by visiting their Facebook Page!
Thank you to Simply Beverages for Sponsoring this Post and Giveaway.
As always the thoughts expressed in the post are my own.
I can’t believe it’s been a year. A year since I was in the hospital facing so much pain and fear. I thought I was about to leave my husband and my children and my family. I thought for sure the pain would be too much or they would finally run that last test and it would prove to be something we couldn’t fix. I teared up this week thinking about it. Sometimes I have a fear that creeps up in me that the pain will come back. That the 40 percent of my pancreas they removed with the precancerous cyst and my gall bladder and spleen will not have been effective and that cancer comes up somewhere else. In december I was at my parents house just crying in my mom and dad’s family room because I felt this weight over me as the one year came was coming up. Of course they reassured me and told me not to worry. worry does nothing. So I tried my best to tuck it away and out of my mind and just pray for peace. Peace in my heart and for strength in knowing that God has a plan and that if His plan is for it to come back.. let’s glorify Him with it. We can do this. He gives us everything we need to face our crosses.
(You can read my original hospital reflection post here)
So many of you heard about the incredibly story of Paul Coakley and his wife Ann. Ben and I went to the same college as them and had mutual friends. We followed their journey and bravery and amazing faith during those last days of his life. I couldn’t help but see similarities in our stories at the very beginning, but then sadly his diagnosis turned the other way. My heart broke for them. I looked at their photos and thought that could have been us. Our tests could have come back and been that far gone. It was amazing seeing the community rally behind them. and how sometimes moments of such suffering bring the most amazing qualities out of people.
My husband recently started a blog. The Striving Christian Man. I love reading his thoughts. love love it. He has such a heart for fatherhood and wanting men to have community and encouragement as they brave through being a father. He wrote a post today reflecting on the one year since I was in the hospital. ‘One year ago I thought I was losing my bride.’ I’m so thankful and grateful that I had such a strong and holy man by my side. He was my rock through all of that…the time in the hospital..and then the months after when I was recovering and coming off the medicine and healing and slowly able to get back to myself. I remember Micah not wanting to come to me. And sophia, so afraid every time I left for a check up that I was going to stay at the hospital and not come back. It really shook our family. shook us straight to the core and made us cry out to God with all the energy we had left. Begging for strength to get through that time.
Looking back I can’t believe how skinny I was. I didn’t even realize. Not eating that first week and then barely eating the week after that. I had no energy or strength. I remember being barely able to walk, let alone pick up micah. I was soo happy when I finally could pick him up and hold him and squeeze him. took a month or so but it came. I was so happy to be able to physically mother my kids again. There was a time there I had to hand that off to everyone around me.. I could barely comfort micah when he cried. But that time passed. And I encourage anyone going through a hard time, no matter what it is. Physical or emotional suffering….. this time will pass. God is good. and He is your strength. Give yourself grace and don’t try to do everything. It’s ok to have others help you. We need community.
I can’t believe where we are today. Healthy and all together. Announcing Baby #4 coming this fall. God is good. Thankful for all the people who prayed and took care of us this time last year. The meals..the letters from around the world to my kids encouraging them and making them smile….Thankful for my dad who took care of my kids that first week and my mom who helped there and with me at the hospital. Going back and forth staying with the kids or with me at hospital so that ben could be with the kids some nights. I needed them so much. And they were there. sleeping in those uncomfortable chairs at the hospital. being strong for me and then crying in the hall. Helping me get through those hours of pain at a time.
I do not know what the future holds… and if cancer will be a part of my story.
But I am grateful for the healing I experienced last year and the amazing
support I had from my family and friends. I feel stronger for experiencing that.
I am thankful for the suffering that brought me to my knees and closer to God.
I hope that I can always hold onto that as I face whatever comes my way.
We are so excited to announce we are expecting a baby!! Baby #4 is due in October!
Ben and I are excited and freaking out all in one breath haha.
Love these photos because they totally sum up life right now! 4 is backwards…
one balloon is deflating..haha.. a whole lot of crazy and JOY!
We told the kids and they are so excited! I can’t wait to see them experience the whole thing.
(Thanks to my friend Christine for snapping these for us!)
The crazy thing about parenthood and having kids is, you are creating the people you are gonna hang out with when you are older. This is our crew. our people.
I love seeing each of their personalities and what they look like
and can’t wait to see baby #4 in the mix.
Maybe we’ll have another curly haired baby! Either way, we are so thankful and excited.
Sophia has baby fever. Hugging and kissing my belly every time she sees me.
Letting me know daily updates on my growing belly.She really wants a boy for Micah. Sienna is still trying to figure out the whole thing and has requested a girl only. She has come up with lots of names that include princess. Micah copies sophia hugging my belly. I was snuggling with him one night before bed and told him, “say night night baby…” and he said “night night my baby.” heart officially melted. He’ll be almost 3 when baby comes…
which seems crazy to me! He is gonna be a big brother!
Can’t wait to document my growing baby bump again! Having the photos of my growing little ones is one of my most treasured blog posts. I had horrible morning sickness with micah..but I had no idea what was coming this round! WOW. It’s crazy. Trying to offer it up and hang on because I know it won’t last forever. I will spare you the details. no fun.
I’m seeing some freezer meal posts coming soon. Only eating crackers and
banana bread isn’t working for the entire family haha.
We told our family a couple weeks after we found out. I couldn’t keep it a secret and I was having a hard time keeping it together while being so sick. First thing my mom said after screaming and hugging me was “I knew it!! I thought you looked horrible!!” haha.
thanks mom. She meant well ;)
It’s a really exciting time in my family because both my sister in laws and my sister are pregnant as well! We have a new baby coming every 2 months starting in april!
This is the first pregnancy I’ll be so close to my family! So fun.
My sister and I are sickos together. :) a whole new batch of grand babies are on the way!
God is good! Would love some prayers for all of us and our pregnancies.
We are so excited to share this news with all of you!
Hope you’re having a great day!